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Gay spousal abuse

Domestic violence and abuse

Domestic aggression or abuse can happen to anyone. Find out how to recognise the signs and where to get help.

If you're worried someone might see you have visited this page, the Women's Aid website tells you how to cover your tracks online.

Domestic violence, also called domestic overuse, includes physical, feeling and sexual violence in couple relationships or between family members.

Domestic violence can happen against anyone, and anybody can be an abuser.

Getting help and help for domestic violence

You do not possess to wait for an emergency situation to find aide. If domestic exploitation is happening to you, it's key to tell someone and remember you're not alone.

Other ways to get support:

You can also email for support. It is important that you specify when and if it is safe to respond and to which email address:

The Survivor's Handbook from the charity Women's Aid is free and provides knowledge for women on a wide range of issues, such as housing, cash, helping your children, and your legal rights.

If you're worried that you are behaving abusively in your relationship, ring the free Respect Phoneline on 0808 802 404

Stonewall’s findings about home abuse

Hi Everyone,

Stonewall possess produced a pamphlet on “Domestic Abuse- Stonewall Health Briefing”. In their study they found the following, which we thought we should share with you:

Lesbian & Bisexual Women:

  • One in four lesbians and double attraction women have experienced domestic abuse in a relationship. Two thirds of those say the perpetrator was a lady, a third a man.
  • Four in ten lesbians and double attraction women with a disability have experienced domestic abuse in a relationship.
  • More than four in ten lesbians and bisexual person women who own experienced domestic maltreatment experienced this for more than one year.
  • 62% of lesbians and bisexual women who have experienced domestic abuse from a female significant other have experienced some form of physical violence.
  • Almost one in five possess been kicked, knock or had objects thrown at them
  • Almost one in ten had their sexuality used against them.
  • 6% have been forced to own unwanted sex.
  • In terms of domestic overuse reporting, four in five (81%) lesbians and bisexual person women who experienced domestic abuse never reported the incidents to the police. Of those that did report, only half (49%) we

    We support LGBT+ people who contain experienced abuse and violence

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    How can we help you today?

    Get help

    Our team has decades of trial in supporting LGBT+ people who are victims of domestic violence, sexual violence, hate crime, so-called conversion therapies, honour-based abuse, forced marriage, and other forms of abuse.

    More ways to get help

    At some point in our lives, all of us experience some form of hate. We can challenge it, together.


    This factsheet aims to distinguish and challenge some of the misconceptions about LGBT+ people’s experiences of national abuse.

    There are many myths surrounding partner abuse and some specific myths which directly relate to overuse in in relationships where one or more partners identify as LGBT+. Myths and stereotypes about loved one abuse among LGBT+ people minimise the experiences of LGBT+ victims and survivors and make it complicated for the victims to seek help.

    Misconceptions may also stop some agencies from taking the issue of partner abuse seriously and prevent them from developing responses and support that appropriately meet the needs of LGBT+ clients.

    Some of the more common myths may suggest that:

    • Partner exploitation doesn’t happen among LGBT+ people
    • Partner abuse among LGBT+ people is not as serious in nature compared with experiences of their heterosexual cisgender counterparts
    • Partner maltreatment among LGBT+ people is almost always ‘mutual’
    • Partner maltreatment is about size and strength; for example, a gay male victim will be smaller and more effeminate and an abusive lesbian will be more masculine
    • Women cannot/do not perpetrate partner abuse
    • Gay men can more easily protect themsel