Gay for the stay
Is My Married Prison Lover “Gay For The Stay?”
Was he gay for the stay?
We met at the intake unit here in the prison, and he happened to be my neighbor’s bunkie. There was something about his power that pulled me towards him. We talked everyday and it was pure and endless and just…..FREE, all things considered. I could be myself for once in a long time. Yea, I fell for someone double my own age, but the whole trial had been nuts anyway, so why not take the chance with getting to know someone new.
After a scant months, we actually ended up in the same cell together. One guy made a huge deal about it after hearing I was bisexual, even though he never actually got to know me, but we didn’t look after. This amazing guy with a kind-hearted spirit said screw what others ponder. His motto was, “I’m just going to do me.” It’s my motto too. Sure I made mistakes to be here in prison, but one mistake I won’t make is going back in “the closet.”
When we got placed in our new unit, our own private cell, things started to heat up. He told me he wanted to travel and see where things go. I was open to the idea so we rolled with it. I don’t want to
There’s a phrase that is often used in women’s prisons: “Gay for the stay.”
When I first heard it, at Taconic Correctional Facility in 2019, I didn’t understand what it meant. This was my first time in prison, and I was a married heterosexual woman with six children.
But during my first visit to the recreation yard in this Westchester, New York prison, I couldn’t aid but notice how many women were coupled up.
Later on, another incarcerated chick told me that she was “gay for the stay.” When I asked her about it, she said she was married to a man, had never been in a sexual connection with a chick before, and had every intention of returning to her husband upon unleash . But while she was serving her time, she, favor so many other women, still had sexual desires that needed to be met.
I remember thinking to myself, That’s crazy. How can someone pretend to be something they have never been, be intimate and not develop feelings? I just knew that was never going to be me.
Countless times I was approached by women who were interested in me, but I always turned down their advances. I did not consider myself a lesbian or “gay for the stay.” However, as time went on, I began to
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Gay For the Stay: Sexual Activity Among Inmates in Prison
Does sex really occur in prison? And is it just rape, as the federal government would like to believe, or also consensual?
In 2003, the Prison Rape Reduction Act was signed into law. It required federal, state and local governments to work with the Federal Bureau of Justice Statistics to study the number and effects of incidents of sexual assault in correctional facilities and hopefully provide accurate statistics for the first period on the actual number of incidents.
That year, the Congressional Judiciary Subcommittee on Crime, Terrorism and Homeland Security held hearings “to examine the issue of sexual assault within federal, state, and local correctional institutions and efforts that are to be taken to address the issue.”
Many revelations came out of that hearing. Of over two million people incarcerated today, it is estimated that one in ten, or roughly 200,000, have been raped. Rape is recognized as a contributing factor to prison homicide, violence against staff and institutional riots. Not only does it cause severe physical and psychological trauma to victims, it increases the transmission of HIV/AIDS, ot